Diary of a Third Seat
by Malselene
Summary: We always hear about the Captains and Vice captains but what about the ones that are just a little be further down the pecking order. What is their opinion of those above them? OC point of view
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer. As much as I'd wish it to be other wise I don't own bleach

There are days when being a third seat sucks. I'm standing in the middle of a forest. It's damp, overgrown and insect infested. A rather silly place for people to fight if you ask me. It's also rather large and I need to search the entire place… before sunset, which is rather rapidly approaching.

Luckily finding where they fought wasn't that difficult. There was a nice area of destroyed vegetation which seemed to indicate where most of the fighting took place that I found when I began this search. However a careful look round indicated that it wasn't where the fighting actually started so I'm still looking around out here.

Shunpo doesn't really help when you're searching as when you move at that speed it's hard to notice things. But knowing Taicho what I'm looking for won't be on the ground. So I'm flashing from damp tree branch to damp tree branch trying to spot the elusive item I'm looking for.

Did I mention the insects? I've just been bitten again. Slapping madly at my leg I manage to squish the insect. Not that it's any consolation as they're still plenty more, all off them hungry.

I'm also completely shattered as well. I've spent the last two days chasing around the ryoka without any sleep. Actually not all of it was spent chasing ryoka. Possibly more was spent chasing squad members who were chasing after ryoka in the wrong direction and trying to get them back on course.

I've found another area where every tree in about a fifty metre radius has been blasted apart. Traces of reiatsu linger in the air. Unfortunately what I'm looking for is sill eluding me.

There is going to be a meeting of all the captains at sunset. It looks like it's going to very well attended, with three captains gone traitor three more maybe regaining consciousness next week and Unohana Taicho still trying to stick everyone back together.

Why am I searching this damn forest? Well let's see. My taicho has a very very annoying habit. Not that I'd tell her that. Whenever she's getting into a serious fight she decides that her haori is hampering her movements. And then obviously that won't do so she chucks it off.

Does she ever pick it up right after she's finished her fight? No. Does she ever remember where or even go fetch it herself? No.

And now she needs to be at a Captains' meeting. Obviously she can't appear there without a haori. That wouldn't be correct. Taicho is quite a sticker for propriety on occasion. Even when it seems silly.

Is there enough of squad who are unhurt which I can delegate this task to? No. Who ends up trying to find it? Me.

There are days when it's not a good idea to be the third seat of the second squad and today is one of them.

Authors note: I have no idea where this is going. I have a few ideas for the next few chapters but beyond that? Suggestions and reviews appreciated


	2. Chapter 2

Days since the unmasking of Aizen's betrayal: one

Paperwork: We've given up seeing as Central 46 isn't reading it.

Soi Fon Taicho's mood: angry and stressed, just my luck.

According to my predecessor, for captains, sparring with a third seat is just about the correct level for stress relief. We don't get knocked out from their reiatsu and we're guaranteed to lose. Of course I have a feeling that this only applies to one captain. Zaraki Taicho probably needs someone of a much higher level than a third seat while the rest of the captains seem to have simpler, and less detrimental to their subordinates, ways of reducing stress.

But this seems to apply to Soi Fon Taicho, which is why I'm out here on the training ground letting her take out all her frustrations on me.

We've been going for about half an hour now. I'm bleeding from a couple of scratches on my arms and I've got more bruises than I'd care to count. Soi Fon isn't even breathing heavily.

She shunpos and appears to my left her blade sweeping down towards my head. I swiftly block, my zanpakuto jarring in my hands from the force of her swing. Next thing I know I'm flying backwards through the air as her foot catches me in the stomach. That's the third time she's sent me flying in the last ten minutes. Thank god we don't have an audience. Luckily this time I land on my feet not my head like last time.

Recovering I shunpo towards her and slash with my zanpakuto towards her waist. Soi Fon lazily flips over my head to land behind me and sheaths her zanpakuto in one movement. As I spin round she raises her hands and intones "Destructive art no 33, blue fire crash down."

First thought: What Kido?

Second thought: That's cheating

Third thought: Shit!

And by that point it's too late to dodge so I react on pure instinct and cross my arms in front of me yelling "Defend, Arashi Tate!" The sword in my hands disappears to be replaced by gauntlets about my hands that connect to pieces of armour which stretch up to my elbows. A transparent shield forms in front of my crossed arms which holds off the wave of fire that crosses the five metre gap between us.

Soi Fon has a slight smile on her lips as she draws her zanpakuto again.

I'm mentally kicking myself. Not really kicking myself because I know from past experience that that hurts. In all the time lower seats have ever sparred with the second squad captain there has been one simple rule that it is definitely advisable to follow. Never never ever use shikai. Because if you use shikai she might, and then if you're lucky you'll end up with a really tasteless tattoo that shows up through your clothes. And it'll stay around until she feels like removing it which for sixth seat Johichi has been over two years now. When you're unlucky you end up dead.

I blink and when I open my eyes Soi Fon isn't in sight anymore. "Sting all enemies to death. Suzumebachi," comes her voice from just behind me.

I shunpo away but she appears behind me again almost instantly. I drive my elbow backwards aiming for her stomach. She catches it with her left hand and uses it to spin me around to face her while her right hand complete with shikai Suzumebachi drives towards my chest.

My left arm just gets their first and Suzumebachi rebounds sideways off the armour. She follows up with another kick which sends me flying once again, apart from this time she jumps after me Suzumebachi at the ready.

This fight is getting too serious for my liking.

"You're being a bit hard on her don't you think. Soi," calls a voice from my left. Amazingly Soi Fon actually stops her attack. I take the opportunity to get back to my feet quickly.

There's a woman at the edge of the training ground, a woman with purple hair and dark skin. And there I'd been hoping that they'd be no one to witness me getting humiliated.

"Yoruichi-sama?" Taicho asks cautiously.

"Soi, I thought we'd got over that stage. It's Yoruichi. You managed to get it right yesterday." The woman sighs. "Well I guess some things don't change. You still fight as beautifully as you did back them."

Soi Fon Taicho is actually blushing. I think I must have died or something. Wait I'm already dead – been injured to the point of hallucination maybe? Or did someone put something in my drink earlier.

"I think we need to talk Soi." Says the woman. Taicho is just nodding silently. Her cheeks are still pink.

"Irizari tell the squad that they should all complete…" She falters. There isn't any paperwork for anyone to do.

"Oh just give them a day off." Yoruichi says impatiently "It's not like anything important is happening anymore."

Soi Fon nods to me and just follows the woman out. I'm left standing in the training ground completely incredulous.

This Yoruichi just stopped Soi Fon Taicho from killing me. Made Soi Fon blush and got all of the squad the day off.

I think I need to start her a fan club.

**Authors note**

Arashi Tate translates approximately to storm shield. My Japanese isn't the best. Same as before reviews would be wonderful.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer:** If I owned bleach it would be nowhere near as good due to the fact that I can't draw to save my life.

Days since Aizen's betrayel: two

Taicho's mood: I saw her smiling which would indicate good but I have a very bad feeling.

Paperwork: still thankfully nonexistent.

Taicho called a full squad meeting first thing this morning so I'm standing out on the training ground. There are even a few members of the Stealth Forces at the edge looking rather uncomfortable. They're probably overheating standing in the direct sunlight in their all black gear.

The training ground feels a bit empty as over a third of the squad are still at fourth division waiting to be healed. They're not badly hurt; it's just that forth division are helping those who are actually in danger like Hinamori Fukutaicho and Kutchki Taicho first. Quite a lot of people here including me actually have minor injuries. Though everyone else's are from fighting ryoka or other squads in the mess four days ago while mine are all due to Soi Fon Taicho's idea of stress relief.

Everyone seems slightly edgy and there is a lot of whispering. However from the extracts I keep catching from the male shinigami directly behind me they don't quite seem to grasp the gravity of our situation. They seem only concerned with the relative size of Inoue Orihime's and Matsumoto's assets.

Fourth seat Kei Mifoma pushes between the whisperers and I to get to his place. Two words to describe him – arrogant bstrd. He's minor nobility, who only seems to care about promotion, he transferred across from the Stealth Forces purely to get promoted. Oh, he also hates me because I got made third seat over him.

The purple haired woman from yesterday is lounging against the wall. She winks at me when I look over at her and so I quickly redirect my gaze to the front where the large mass of Marechiyo Fukutaicho has just finished eating his third rice cake of the day.

At last he yells at everyone to shut up as Soi Fon steps onto the platform at the front. Unfortunately for Taicho this still doesn't do much for her visibility as it only brings her up to the height of your average soul reaper.

It takes a few moments for the last whispers to vanish and Soi Fon waits for silence with her ever present scowl and far more patience than I'd usually expect. When she finally opens her mouth to speak whatever she was going to say is lost beneath the large pop of Marechiyo Fukutaicho opening a packet of crisps.

I take a couple of steps backwards as an early precaution.

The entirety of the squad's attention is now on Marechiyo. Unfortunately for him so is Soi Fon's. He hasn't noticed though and with an obvious rustling noise shoves a handful of crisps into his mouth. Soi Fon's perpetual scowl deepens.

He looks up just when Taicho's punch connects to the side of his head. There's a large crash followed by a screech as he falls over unconscious nearly crushing the sixth seat. Johichi never learns.

Soi Fon jumps back onto her platform and this time she gets a petrified silence instantly.

"How many squad members are fit to return to active duty?" Taicho asks.

It takes me a moment to realise that if the Fukutaicho is unconscious I'm supposed to be answering the questions. "One hundred and twenty six Taicho. Not counting those currently deployed in the real world." No I didn't make the number up off the top of my head even if I could have got away with it. It was me that did the counting in the first place not Marechiyo. As if he ever does anything useful.

She turns to the Special Forces and I breathe a sigh of relief that her glare is no longer directed at me. "And how many of the Executive Militia branch of the Stealth forces are uninjured"

There is a very long pause before one answers in a quiet voice. "Err… Ten" It's impossible to tell what the man's feeling due to the black facemask but I'd guess he's pretty embarrassed.

Soi Fon glares across at the purple haired woman whose only reply is to grin madly and say, "Oops."

Taicho sighs and begins her speech by declaring, "Aizen, Tousen and Ichimaru have betrayed soul society and allied with hollows."

There are an awful lot of gasps at that. I can't believe this is news to some people. Where have they been for the last two days?

"It is not believed that they are likely to attack us soon. However it is undoubted that we will be fighting them sometime in the near future. Our response to the ryoka threat was abysmal and so much improvement will be necessary."

Abysmal. More like the most shocking response ever. I had to stop one team from fighting some of the eleventh squad.

"Therefore there will be a new training regime in place for this squad from now on. Everyone without a shikai will need to find it. Hakuda, Hohou, Kidou and Zajutsu drills will be held daily and everyone will attend." Soi Fon's scowl has softened into the closest it ever gets to a smile. Unfortunately it's a smile that is ten parts evil to one part happiness and it is not very comforting. "Those who do not improve will attend extra sessions run by the higher seats in their free time."

What? That better be the non-improvers free time not mine. I don't like the sound of this.

Most of the squad doesn't seem like it any more than me sound of this form the mutinous mumbles and grumbles I can hear behind me. However Soi Fon is looking particularly fervent now and any extra training looks much the lesser of two evils when the other is making her angry. Trust me, Soi Fon angry is one of the scariest things around. More scary than Zakari Taicho asking you to spar.

"Our new training begins today. First, everyone of rank eleventh seat and below will race to the northern edge of Rukongai and back while those of higher rank are planning further training."

Planing? More like Soi Fon giving us more orders. I have a very bad feeling that I'm going to end up with all of the jobs I don't want.

"The race will commence now."

There is a sudden release of reatsu and the training ground is suddenly empty except for the higher seats. Well not completely empty. There's about fifteen shinigami standing at the back of the training ground looking slightly disorientated by the disappearance of all their fellows. They're this years new recruits from the Spiritual Arts Acadamy.

"If you can't shunpo you better get running," Soi Fon adds in a cold voice.

I watch them leave at a slow jog. To the northern edge of rukongai and back is over forty miles. I think I have finally proved that Soi Fon Taicho is evil at heart.

**Authors note: **I really don't like this chapter. My inspiration died the moment Soifon started talking. Hopefully next chapter will be better


End file.
